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Mary's Journal
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Date:2003-10-31 15:53
Subject:You guys aren't going to be too happy...

So yea, I have now started another online journal on www.xanga.com

Everyone here @ North Park uses that site for their online ramblings and daily journaling...so I decided to join the masses. Now I can have one journal for when I'm @ home or about things from home, and one for school...

So I just wanted to let ya'll know so if you want to hear about my random and sometimes uneventful life here at school, just go to the xanga website and look up skasis.

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Date:2003-09-07 22:07
Mood: sleepy

Last night, me, Justin, Katie, Heather, Tim, Lee and some others made our way down to German Fest for a little while just to chill and meet up w/ some ppl...

We then we headed further on downtown to attend Oyster Fest and see one of the most amzing artists in concert...ever...Ben Folds. Omg, it was sooo good...that's all I can pretty much say, there are just no words to desribe how great it was. So I'll leave it at that before I butcher it...

Can I just say that I love Katie? She cracks me up, and she defnitely knows how to work it...she ended up getting almost all of us free beer by charming her way thru...then she got a giant blow-up bottle of schmirnoff ice for Justin by charming the guy behind the counter...and she almost got to meet Ben Folds...I don't know how she does it...but it was amazing.

So yea, we had an awesome night, which ended in us going to Tim's room and watching Mr. Accident. We were all pretty tired from the night so we all started falling asleep, but I'm determined to finish that movie. It's one of those lame, random $5.99 Walmart movies, but it is hilarious...haha, I laugh just thinking about it.

So yea, that was my night...all in all, it was pretty damn good...no complaints here.

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Date:2003-09-06 02:45
Subject:"ohh I'm so excited!"
Mood: relaxed

Today was an eventful day for me, I quite enjoyed it...

Let's see, I got up early so I could go to breakfast w/ Joanna, Rachel and Heather (something I never do), went to class (not so interesting), then laughed at Joanna and Tim as they had themselves a good time on the blow-up climbing thingy (I get real technical about it), and then the awesome parts come...

I skipped my history class today cause I didn't do my hw and I pretty much just didn't feel like going. So I called my bro for he evidently had some news he needed to tell me, and I'm so excited now! He got the job in Chicago and will be coming out in a few weeks...yay! (I know Greta's really happy about that too, as one could imagine) Then I called Sara and she has now booked her flight reservations to come out to visit me Nov 6-10, YAY again!!! I'm so excited about that! So it was 2 good things right in a row...

Later tonight was alot of fun, I went down to German Fest w/ Justin and a few of his 4th floor friends and we had ourselves a fine and dandy time, had some good beer, socialized w/ some cool ppl, it was all good...

We then headed on back to North Park for me, Justin, Joanna, Heather, Tim, Erik and Tim's roommate (I'm completely spacing on the name right now) went to "To Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind". It was a lot of fun and I definitely plan on going again. After that, we headed on over to a shady diner, ate some good food for real cheap prices while Joanna and Tim had an amusing accent battle...ahhh good times good times.

All in all I'd say it was a good day...

Tomorrow is going to be a blast as well...me, Heather, Katie, Justin and whoever else decides to come are going to Oyster Fest to drink some more good beer and see Ben Folds play...it's gonna be sweet.

I think after this weekend I'll be a little alcoholed out for a little while...that's what I'm thinking.

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Date:2003-09-05 09:32
Subject:My mom's gonna kill me....
Mood: sore

Well guys, remember how on Monday I said I was gonna be spontaneous and get another piercing? Well....yesterday, Heather and I went into The Alley and we both got our upper daiths (if that's how you spell it) pierced.
It kinda hurt a little, aferwards kinda sucked, the blood going down my ear hasn't quit yet, and the soarness probably won't subside for a few days, but that's besides the point...I really like it, and hopefully you all will too.
So yea, I got my piercing for the year, I have a whole nother year to think about whether I want another one or not. hehe, I don't see myself getting another one, but you never know, I didn't think I'd get one this year, so I guess I can't make any promises. :)

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Date:2003-09-01 17:31
Mood: determined

So yea, I had every intention to do my hw today, but did I? of course not!...instead, Heather and I wanted to be spontaneous and get a piercing, but of course when I finally get that urge of spontanuity (is that word?...eh, it is now, because I said so), all the piercing places are closed. However, if we go back on Thursday, we'll get $10 off our piercing...so it all works out.

So instead of paying for a piercing, me, Katie and Heather spent a little too much money shopping...I'm gonna be broke by next month...not good. Belmont is gonna be the death of me, Katie and Heather don't help really either. lol, it was fun tho...

Anywho, I'm finally gonna go attempt some hw now, wish me luck! (I really need it)...

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Date:2003-09-01 03:22
Mood: confused

I had a very random day today...lazy...but very very random...

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Date:2003-08-31 02:38
Subject:A night on the town...
Mood: happy

Today was a very lazy day for me until about 7:00 pm...I just kind of laid around, did some hw w/ Katie and Heather (well, not really...I didn't get much done), watched a movie, chilled w/ Audry for a little while...basically did nothing...

After dinner tho, me, Heather, Justin, Tim, Katie, Laura, Natalie and Evan made our way downtown to Grant Park to Jazz Fest and just enjoyed the jazz music (I love jazz) and had a good time just chillin' w/ each other...

After that, me, Heather, Kyle, Tim, Katie, Bjorn and Justin made our way to the Hookah Bar in Evanston...that was a lot of fun, definitely doing that again...

Now I got to get to bed so I can mb get some sleep before I have to wake at 9:00 to go to church...here's hopin'!

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Date:2003-08-30 02:12
Subject:A little bit of home...
Mood: content

Tonight me, Elsa, Christine, Beth, Dave, Andrea, Linnea, and some other ppl from CBC I didn't really know, but who were still really cool, left the North Park campus for Evanston to this awesome coffee shop called Kafein, which I plan on going to a lot more...after that we drove over to Elsa's house (for all who don't know, Elsa is Greta's sister, and Greta is my bro's g/f, and I just met Elsa this yr and she's really awesome). We then proceeded to walk to the "beach" of Lake Michigan, and oh my goodness, it was so nice...it wasn't quite like the beaches back in Cali, but it felt so good. The cool breeze and the sounds of the waves, and the fact that you can't see the other side of the lake makes it look like the ocean...the only thing that was missing was the salty breeze and the smell of the salty sea...but it was close enough, it made me a little homesick tho :*) (happy tears of good memories).

So yea, that was my night, it felt really good to get out of North Park and the city and just breathe in some fresh air and be able to move around (although I couldn't really when actaully in the car...yea, we had too many ppl in that small car)...you just feel so cramped living in a city sometimes and you just need to get away...too bad I've only been here for barely over a week and I'm already needing to "get away"...pathetic...

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Date:2003-08-28 00:08
Subject:an evening out...
Mood: busy

Tonight, me, Joanna, Jessica, Jakob, Heather, Tim, Katie, Justin and Tim went down to Belmont to Pick Me Up Cafe...it was a lot of fun...actaully, I didn't really know a few of the ppl that were in the group, but I just chilled w/ them and they're really cool ppl...so I made some new friends tonight...woohoo! I like making friends...

Pick Me Up Cafe is the cutest cafe tho, I love that place...it has the perfect atmosphere for just sitting and having a good time and talk w/ your friends. So when Sara, Michelle, Jessi and Ashley finally decide when they are going to come out! ::cough:: ::hint:: ::hint:: I can take them there...I think they would love it...

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Date:2003-08-26 18:13
Subject:tired much?
Mood: tired

8:00 am classes are no fun...definitely not my best time of the day...

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Date:2003-08-25 23:20
Mood: crazy

So today was my first day of classes...ugh...

Anatomy is going to be good, we have an awesome teacher who makes learning easy and fun...

Organic Chem...yea...I'm not supposed to be in that class...I gotta drop it and find another one...

History should be good...it will be a lot of work...but it will be interesting...I find US history somewhat captivating believe it or not...

And Psych should be really good cause I have another teacher who is awesome at making learning fun and interesting...

I just know that I'm going to be busy w/ soo much work...I already have hw in all my classes, I already can't handle it...ugh...

I had an awesome night, we had out first floor meeting and I don't know how to describe it, but it was just great. We have some amazing girls on my floor and I can't wait to get to know all of them. I don't know, floor meetings are usually so boring, but ours was full of laughter and tears too actaully...I have a feeling we're all going to be close...I'm really excited for this new year.

Well...it is now 1:29 am and I have an 8:00 lab, so I guess I should be gettin' some sleep, you know, might be good....but hey, it's college...who really sleeps in college?...

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Date:2003-08-22 22:57
Subject:A New Year
Mood: excited

Well...I made it!

I'm here back at NPU, I'm all moved in (a little disorganized...well, alot disorganized, but moved in none the less), met my roommate (who so far seems really cool), met up w/ my friends I made last yr., and gotten settled in...somewhat...I'm getting there...

So yea, I'm really looking forward to this year, it's gonna be a lot different than last and things are gonna change...good changes tho...I'm excited. Although I'm not looking forward to my work load...between anatomy, organic chem, US history and psych, and work and fitting in study time not to much mention time w/ my friends...I'm gonna have many a sleepless nights...sweeeeet...

Anywho, I better get going...I'm not that tired, but I'm gonna do a little more oragizing before I go to bed...mb read a little then drift off into a peaceful slumber...I'm hoping...

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Date:2003-08-20 01:03
Subject:::tear:: ::sniffle::
Mood: sad

Well...today was my last day at home and in beautiful CA ::sigh:: ::tear::

It was a little disappointing tho...I ended up being sick...sucked! I was supposed to go to the beach w/ my bro and dad, but couldn't. They had an awesome time (which made me feel even worse for missing out) And we were supposed to go out to dinner w/ my cousins and g-ma, but that didn't work out either :(

I started to feel better later in the day...I was still feeling a little sick, but I went out to dinner w/ my parents anyways and had a nice time ::tear:: I'm gonna miss my mommy and daddy ::tear::

Then all my friends came over to say one last good bye ::more tears:: I felt so special and loved...I'm gonna miss all of them so much...thanx for an awesome summer guys! It was seriously the best one I've ever had!!

"Oh I'm so excited!!"...sara, ashley, michelle and jessi are planning a trip out to Chicago to come visit me...I can't wait, it's gonna be awesome! I'm gonna have my own little posse...it's gonna be sweet.

The only really disappointing thing about today is that I don't get to see Arya before I leave ::lots of tears:: He called me about 5 times today leaving me messages like..."well, I'm at another doctor now and they don't know what's wrong w/ me." Finally at about 7:00 he called me one last time to say goodbye before I left because as soon as he hung up w/ me he was going to the hospital to get his appendix removed...poor Arya, I felt so bad. So please keep Arya in your thoughts and prayers, pray that the surgery goes/went well and that he has a fast recovery...

Well kids...this is where I say my goodbyes...of course I'll keep in touch w/ all my peeps...so it's not really goodbye, you guys just don't get to see my bright and shining face everyday, ohhhh how sad for you, i'm sorry. hehe

ANYwho...goodbye all! And hello friends at NPU!!...

Till next time...this is Mary, signing out..."and that's the way the cookie crumbles" (just imagine sara saying that w/ her man voice...haha good times...oh I'm gonna miss you guys ::tear::)

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Date:2003-08-17 21:19
Subject:"What biscuit is made from the sea?..."
Mood: creative

Today was quite eventful for me...

I woke up @ 8:00 to go to church w/ my family...

Then I headed on over to Michael's to pick up some yarn cause I have a new project. My new goal is to knit a blanket. It's gonna take me awhile, but I'm determined to do it...so I'm pretty excited about that right now...

After that Sara and I went to Subway for lunch then made our way over to Kathy's. Kathy and her family are out of town and Sara is in charge of watching over their house...so I just went over to help her out...even tho I ended up just laying down on the couch petting the cat...NALA!...such a pretty kitty...I'm a real help lol

Then I went and saw SeaBiscuit w/ my family...to tell ya the truth, I wasn't that enthuised to see it, but I ended up really enjoying it...I reccommend it...good movie. My family and I then went out to dinner to Chili's...had some good food and good times making fun of the annoying highschoolers sitting next to us...

All in all it was a pretty good day...however I felt sick for part of it (that's why I was just laying on the couch at Kathy's...that's why I wasn't much help to Sara)...

...I can't believe I leave for Chicago Wed. morning...it's coming to quickly, I'm not ready! AHHH!...

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Date:2003-08-17 02:33
Subject:Parallel Lives...
Mood: disappointed

This is an awesome song by Chris & Johnny that I've always favored...it's a little sad, but now it strikes me painfully in the heart for I can now say that I can somewhat relate to the words of this song, especially the chorus...

"Parallel Lives" ~ Chris & Johnny

Our place is outside the house
Where house rules won't be broken
I set aside a piece of my soul

The ring around the moon at night
Will be my only token
I'll place it on your finger before we go

*We lead parallel lives
Never to far, and never touch
We lead parallel lives
And I love you very much

Seperated by a gap in time
I remember our first kiss
That's not the only thing that I miss

Every wink, every usaid word
Every song we listened to
I'm blessed with the memory of you

*We lead parallel lives
With respect in our resistance
We lead parallel lives
And we're one in our distance

As we are, we are worlds apart
But I can still command your eye
I can make you smile, twitch, or blush

And the other night when the lunar light
Would spread across the sky
It wasn't the white wine that gave the rush

*We lead parallel lives
Like an arrow straight and true
We lead Parallel lives
That of me, and that of you

I'll be sure and let you know
When I'm coming back to town
You say that when I'm home you'd like to see me

You might get a letter or two
But you'll never find at you door
They say the air in Georgias' kinda sticky

*So we'll lead parallel lives
That will never come together
We'll lead parallel lives
And perhaps it's for the better

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Date:2003-08-17 01:51
Subject:the past few days...
Mood: relaxed

Wed. night was the last night I saw Stu before he left for Berkeley...not that I talked to him that much anyways, but it was sad to leave our friendship (or what was left of it...which in my opinion wasn't much) in the state that it was, and still is, in. What saddened me more was the fact that he had no idea how I felt. To be honest...I cried after I left his house. Losing someone once so close to my heart and soul, who, in my eyes, is now almost a complete stranger, someone I hardly converse w/ and know nothing about anymore, and him not seeming to really care?...yea, it kinda hurts. And then to have that person leave and not have anything fixed...not good, let me tell ya.

So yea...that was wed. night...then thurs. am, my parents and I made our way up to Turlock for a few days. It was a good trip. I got together w/ my roommate Anna from last school yr. It was nice to see her again...she better come visit me this yr! (she's not coming back to npu :( ::tear:: she was the best roommate ever)...anyway, yea, we went out to dinner then hung out at her b/f's apartment...it was nice just chillin w/ her again. We had some laughs and good times looking down memory lane from all the yrs we've known each other...from our days as banana slugs at mission springs, all the way to this past yr as roommates...good times good times...

I came back home today, then me, Jessi, Reagan and Ashley went and got some boba....mmmmmm...then went back to Michelle's where we joined Michelle (obviously, considering it was her house), Walter, Ryan, Lauren and Pat. We played a little bullshit, then just hung out and talked...it was a nice relaxing evening...

So that has been my life the past few days...not too exciting, but somewhat eventful...at least I wasn't just sitting on my ass doing nothing...

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Date:2003-08-12 16:34
Subject:Let's go to the fair!
Mood: calm

Sunday night, Sara, Jessi, Michelle, Walter, Stu, Ryan, Pat and I made our to the Ventura County Fair and we had an awesome time.

When we got the there, the ocean was beautiful, the day was gorgeous and the fair was only moments away. Of course the first thing Sara and I did when we got there was eat...roasted corn, sooo good! We then walked around for alittle bit, had a few laughs...checked out the livestock...oh you know you're jealous...

Then everyone else decided to eat, and Sara ate yet again...this time eating a corn dog, then jokingly said "now time for some bratwurst!" ahh Sara, you and your fixation w/ phallus-shaped foods. lol

After the good, we played some games. Sara and I won 3 fish together and Jessi won one! Except mine died the next day ::tear:: Oh well, I'm leaving for school soon anyways...

Before we left the grounds, Michelle and I and then Sara and Jessi split a funnel cake w/ each other...I've never had one before and I've been missing out! Those things are sooo good! I think I gained 10 lbs. just by looking at it tho, but like my brother says about himself, which I now take on this outlook...I'm already fat, so...why the hell not? lol

As we were walking back to our cars, the fireworks show started so we stopped and watched them along the beach. It was so pretty w/ the moon and fireworks reflecting off the water, kinda left you w/ a magical feeling lol. If only I had a b/f...eh, too much commitment.

ANYwho,once we got back to town, everyone came over and a few of us went swimming in my pool and in the hot tub...nothing too exciting.

Well, that was my day...I had lots of fun.

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Date:2003-08-11 01:33
Mood: hopeful

As life goes on, our relationships, issues, lives, mindsets, etc. grow increasingly complicated. We're always dreaming of a simpler time, which causes the hauntings of our past to creep slowly and heavily, infiltrating our minds. However, they tend to be bittersweet...the happy moments we have played out throughout our lives permeate our thoughts, but we only find ourselves wishing for what once was. It brings warmth to our hearts and souls, yet at the same time leaves an emptiness and desire for the past, a yearning for a time when things were right, or simple, or just plain joyful. Despite this negative side to the memories of my simple past, I would not live one day w/out them, for they are what keep my hopes high. I desire that feeling of yearning, because that means I am creating a life full of happy, creative, fulfilling, joyful, energetic, crazy, etc times. I am filled w/ high hopes because all the memories I have already created signifies that it is possible to continue and to always continue making a life full of good times and memories.

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Date:2003-08-09 13:31
Subject:"Goodbye Kitty"
Mood: tired

Last night me, Sara, Ashley, Jessi, Lauren, Michelle, Arya, Pat, Walter, Arash, and Stu ventured our way down to Universal Citywalk...we had some good times...the part of the night came when we went back to Arya's house (after a few races on the 101 freeway)...

It was alot of fun...we discovered that Arya had 2 motorized wheelchairs in his garage, and one was just so conveniently charged up, so naturally we took it for a little spin...
let me just tell you, I can't wait til I'm old so I can use one of those things all the time, they're so much fun! Michelle got some good pics of it...you can check them out in her live journal @ felix950 (look for the Aug. 9th entry).

Sara and I left Arya's house around 1:00 am, but we didn't really feel like going home...so we ended up just driving around till the wee hours of the morning...we wanted to get boba, but didn't know if any places would be open :(, we settled for slurpees from 7/11, which gave us a pretty big sugar high...

...we were gonna try and find Teague's house in Moorpark, but we were delayed by my dad calling me and I had to return home to tend to the dogs, but as soon as I accomplished that, sara and I headed back out into the night....we didn't get to her house until 3:30 in the morning, and we didn't get to sleep until about 4:30 am....so yea, I'm pretty tired.

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Date:2003-08-07 14:24
Subject:The only spurt of creativity I've ever accomplished somewhat succesfully...
Mood: indescribable

This poem surfaced when I was cleaning out the endless depths of my desk, it was a poem I had written my junior at WHS...I had completely forgotten about it, but I remember being proud of it, so here goes...

They tell me it can not be done, so I think I can not, and I never try.
They tell me to be silent, so I do not speak.
They take away my hopes - my dreams, so I live with no future.
They tell me I am not good enough, so I give up.
They free the bird, but keep my locked up inside, so I can never spread my wings and discover - who am I.

However, despite everything they have taken from me,
Or all I have been deprived, or all I never accomplished,
I am still joyful at heart and I love everyday as if nothing is wrong.
They can take away my life, but content I still will be,
For I have discovered a new light that they can Not take away from me.
They can mock me and imprison me and torture me,
But Nothing will keep me from denying my faith.
Fot to live without this faith, is to live not at all,
For this faith is my heart - my life - my soul.

So the tables then turn, with this new faith,
And instead of they who take, it is He who gives.

He tells me it can be done, so I try.
He tells me to speak, so I spread the word.
He gives me hopes - dreams, so I have a future.
He tells me I am good enough, so I continue on with confidence.
He frees me from my mind, so I can spread my wings and discover - who am I.

As I re-read this over and over, I get the nostalgic feeling of the undoubtful devotion I once possessed and the happiness I once felt...today I am riddled w/ doubt, uncertainty, and an emptiness that never really seems to lift. I long for the past, but know that this longing will not bring about the things that once were...I have to look to the past; look to learn how, what and where things went wrong, not dwell...only this can alter my future outlook on life, the world, and my own self; only this can help push me forward. Longing for the past only keeps you hanging on to things that will hold you back; I need to learn from my past, then learn to let go, move on, and look forward towards the future.

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